I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
