One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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