32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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