i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
