A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
