Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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