Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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