Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
