STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
