Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
