.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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