Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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