he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
