So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
