Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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