have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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