In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
...so i touched it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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