Rock
Scissors
Fuck
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
