dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
