she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
