The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So much Jack, so little girl.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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