it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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