He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
