she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
