is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
