I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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