that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
