just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
