Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
