girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
