Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
