From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
