why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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