I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
