I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
