Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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