i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
