i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
