I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
