tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
