her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
