Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I supernannyed him into submission
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
