I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize