Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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