Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
