Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
