garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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