Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
