hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
