I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
