remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
