Me too!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
