hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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