I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
