But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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