i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize