My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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