i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
