he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
