I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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