Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Randomize
