He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
