i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
