So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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