i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize