I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
