im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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