At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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