operation harelip BJ is a go
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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