Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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