mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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