she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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